Symptoms of a Fallen Church

Whiles on my first 40 day fast here in the Bahamas ,God made it clear that the problems I was facing was not simply a personal issue. He showed me that the church & therefor the nation was corrupt. He showed me Bahamas Faith Ministries & the whole nation was covered by the same cloud of darkness. It pervades church ,government & secular life. If the church were not corrupt there would be a contrast, a place where lives are transformed ,a group of people who stand out in the workplace or police force.

Published On:Monday, August 17, 2009

By RUPERT MISSICK Jr

Chief Reporter

rmissick@tribunemedia.net

A disturbing window is opening into the minds of Bahamians who oppose the amendment to the Sexual Offences Act which would totally ban marital rape in the Bahamas.

It appears that men who balk at the idea believe that it is acceptable to force themselves on wives unwilling or unable to have sex. It seems they are willing to abandon the traditional role of husbands as protector and provider and don the mantle of predator.

Women who oppose this amendment either believe that being raped is an acceptable aspect of married life, an inevitability, like having to complain about your husband dropping his shirt onto the bedroom floor after he comes home from work or believe that they have no right to their own feelings .

excerpt from Bahamas Journal

The Bahamas Christian Council says while it generally agrees with the proposed amendment to the Sexual Offences Act and believes that Advocates are moving in the right direction to protect women's rights, more time needs to be spent crafting the law to ensure that rights are upheld and moral laws maintained. Therefore the BCC is asking for at least 30 days for "deliberation and consultation" on the proposed amendmant. The controversial amendment would outlaw marital rape in the Bahamas.

However, many critics say the proposed change is "diabolical" and could possibly disrupt family life. BCC President Rev. Patrick Paul agrees with the latter. In a press statement released Tuesday he noted that many "depraved and malevolent" women may take the opportunity to "humiliate, scourge and defeat a man for personal vindictive reasons" 'Therefore in light of these very real possibilities we request that more time be given for further consideration and dialogue on this matter" he said.

rev. patrick paul(president of Bahamas Christian Council)

Many say they are opposed to the measure because it contradicts their Christian values or because they believe it will lead to women filing false charges against their husbands, reports the Associated Press. One of the most vocal religious leaders in opposition to the bill, Senior Pastor of the Kingdom Life Church Cedric Moss, has said that sexual violence within marriage should not be called rape and should be addressed with lesser penalties than non-marital rape, according to the Nassau Guardian.

A day in the Bahamas

I have to write today ,I've missed a lot of key moments & one of them comes to mind as I wonder if I am being heard by God. Things are

becoming very hard. As I thought about this & how tired I feel, I remembered last week friday. I was having praise & worship when I felt

such peace after only two songs. I got the impression that God was pleased & He wanted to let me Know that He heard me & accepted my fast

as a sacrifice & my prayers were like the broken bread at the communion table. I just kept hearing broken bread _ that I was like this

bread. How fast a week can go. I must say that I felt that I should of written these things down then but I was nervous about losing too

much time in the day. I hope that has nothing to do with how hard things are now, my own mistake.

I have had an escalation of attacks against me. I knew I was going to be harassed by the people at the food store at the golden gates

centre. I did expect it & went anyway ,not knowing what else to do. I started out as usual until the minister showed up & asked me how

things were going. "They must be going good , since you keep coming back again & again." He sounded put off. I knew by his attitude he did

not like the fact that I got more money given to me by asking than he did by hacking. The rasta selling peanuts was also embarrassed.

I went on a carmichael road bus for the first time instead of a south beach bus. The bus driver asked where I & the lady on the bus was

going. This is a constant practice by bus drivers when I get on a bus. They are a part of an army that has amassed to put a stop to me,

whatever I'm doing. They formed when I was selling books. How much money I was making was discussed with such angry passion that I could

not ride the bus safely anymore. You would believe I was molesting kids.

When this driver let me & the other lady off the bus, he said, 'So this is where she's going. I hear she's be making all kind of money.

She'll never stop.' Another sign was how the $30 that was given to me by the gentleman from family of faith , was talked about that teusday.

I remembered how the men at the mall at marathon stopped giving just after Marsha gave me $30 there , the same happened that teusday. The

over $70 I made was the talk downtown & at park manor when I got in. I have police cars driving past me wherever I go ,this is not normal.

The people who work in the stores on baystreet are celebrating. One man enthusiastically hollered ,"by the time we're through with her

she is going to get a good job!" Right, like a good job in sales.

Well, that thursday as the men kept walking past me & turning me down , the peanut man ,men who packed groceries & others laughed loud

& hard. Right in front of me ,so I could see. I walked in the store where a cashier had practically all the packing boys around her telling

them what to say & what not to say. A few people from the past showed up mainly from BFM. One classmate from high school who got enthusiastic

greeting from the peanut man & others. High fives were given. The man that had his office in the shopping centre where I worked at sales

came by for an update. I have to remember the people who park their cars beside me & lean back to watch me with great interest.

I left & went to the mall at marathon to try to make the rest of the rent money. I had enough for that day but after one o'clock the next

day they can give your room away, so I like to be ahead. I was yelled at by a number of men. I heard alot of ,"that's the girl there."

The supervisor at Kelly's was very happy that night. I was humiliated. I felt like all the world was closing in on me. I wanted to know if

I could survive. I got a ride from a haitian guy in a small truck. He was sympathetic to the seventh day doctrine. I discussed hebrews with

him ,the passage that talks about shadows of & external regulations that lasted until the time of Christ. He calmed down & shrugged his

shoulders as if reexamining his thoughts.

I got inside & laid down in despair. What was going to happen? I tried to pray in tongues & could not. I tried to sing & the effort made

me want to bawl. I created a playlist on my laptop that consisted of songs of God's peace & His helping hand. I woke at around five in the

morning. I still felt the same & tried the same things. I felt I was heading for the same mountain that I would not be able to out manouver.

I decided to send in a prayer request over the internet. As I wrote I felt better. I looked for a blog & found one that offers a free

outlet. It put things in perspective. I was in high spirits just a few minutes later. I felt God wanted me to write. I pray that they post

my blog. I tried to find a holiness chat room , I found one but I have to be accepted ,weird.

So friday I went downtown singing. The taxi drivers pulled up next to me & leaned back. I moved & soon met the same taxi drivers on the

other side of the street. A short guy in a very used blue car sat watching me for awhile. When a man gave me $20 he pulled off. Then the

police showed up. They made a old man , an alcoholic leave baystreet. They actually lifted him & physically removed him from the streets.

He screamed all the way to the waiting police car. There was an immediate celebration. "The police are cleaning up bay street." The intimation

was obvious. The practice of the police in dealing with me is to go after those aroung me before heading for me. They plan to arrest me or

just harass me. The end result is I'm just making the rent. Going out in the evening until late & in the afternoon the next day.

a part of my journal during a tumultous 40 day fast

Ashamed to be Right?

It is amazing how right the bible is. It proves that it is the very Word of God. No one could see

during the 60's the fallout from the rebellion against the authority of God. Many callled for free sex & drugs ,arguing the whole time that they were not hurting anyone. It has turned out to be a nightmare as far as the effects on society. All the argumemnts for murder throuogh abortion has been heard ad nauseam. Now the after affects are showing. Marriage is an unnecessary tradition but the benefits that are lost to us are invaluable.

Let me point out that God is sovereign here. He placed a sentence of death on sin. We are witnessing His judgment. Many christians today play to this new culture of tolerance & corectness instead of truth. As Paul wrote in the book of romans , Gods' wrath has already been unleashed on the world.

Now we have numerous veneral diseases & many are dying every minute. The population of the world is becomiing top heavy with seniors. It is the youth who work ,contribute & their money supports the elderly & disabled. Now the US is printing money ,devaluing the dollar as programmes like medicade are going under. Young people who do not have the luxury of a stable home enviorment are largely unprepared for marriage themselves. Deviant behavior by youngsters is rising. Drugs has unleashed uncontrollable gangs like the mexican mafia. The kiinship between drugs & viiolence is unquwstionable. Illelgal drugs , human trafficking , forced prostitution , conterfeit money etc.. aare all interconnected.

Chivo, an East Los Angeles gang member, teaches his daughter how to hold a 32-caliber pistol. Her mother, Yvonne, looks on.

Photo by APF Fellow Joseph Rodriguez

Mark 8:38 (American Standard Version)

³⁸ For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of man also shall be ashamed of him, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

My recent trials as a christian

Maybe there are others who could relate to my trials as a conservative believer in the teachings of Jesus & His apostles (all jews) & not the false teachings of the great white reformation. I know that most of what is heard is comfort for the unrepentant but it is false comfort. I know what I believe is true because what the bible predicts we should expect to experience is my experience. We would be hated & disowned by family & the religious crowd. All who seek to live a godly life would be persecuted.

I hope you could endure some heavy words. I am humiliated & by extension angry. The bible shows Paul as an angry man demanding an apology from those who whipped him. Writing to the Thessalonicans to relate to their suffering ,he spoke of how he & Silas were insulted in Philippi. They themselves were losing there earthly belongings as they practiced the faith. Paul commended them by showing them that they were proving themselves to be true followers of the life of Jesus who was put to death by His own as they suffered at the hands of their own people. (read acts 16:11 - 40 & 1thess.)

I have been trying to fit into a church here in Nassau & I've even tried Andros once. I have found it mission impossible in a place that brags about having more churches per capita than anywhere else in the region. People here think that this is a good thing. It is not. It all boils down to whether or not an organization is true or real. I examined my life & like Paul I can say I know that I'm not a fake (2 cor.13:5 - 6). He spoke of being whipped ,I can remember being slapped by Debbie Bartlett (below) in front of the alter at BFM. Paul spoke incredulously of how the governor had the whole city to arrest him ,one man, for what he spoke. Just for words - they must not have been uplifting & comforting like Olsteens. Paul told King Agrippa what his message was :

'I was not disobedient to the vision from heaven ...I preached .. that they should repent & turn to God & prove their repentance by their deeds. That is why the jews seized me .. & tried to kill me.' - acts 19 - 22 (read the account of the vision)

I experience everyday just about the demonic violent excitement by it seems the whole city to destroy all I have & my name. It started at the latter end of my 15 years at BFM & continues to grow participants. I spoke of my belief that a believer is someone who turns from the lifestyle that may be acceptable by society but not Jesus. We follow Him not our own desires. I said no to the advances of men who were part of the church. I confessed my sins to get rid of them. Confessing that ever since being molested for years ,before I could talk by family & later by friends of my family, I had a tormenting desire for all things sexual. One of my favorite habits was to watch the dogs mating. I very rarely got my hands on porn ,always belonging to others.

Others in the church bragged about their habits & partners they had. One lady told me everyone thought about sex & I should focus on career goals. A deacon ,who was also my immediate supervisor whiles I worked at BFM, said ,"I thought it was something serious."

Since my direction was different from everyone else's own the force of their movement pushed me out. I ended up alone against a crowd. I backslid for 2 years where I did try to kill myself & found I would only succeed in entertaining those I now hated. I bought all the porn I wanted but found only disappointment & disgust at the many themes that were based on sex with minors as women dressed & played parts of underage school girls.

It was all empty . I faced the fact that the world apart from God was truly degenerate. How could this & more vile stuff be acceptable. I did not try to stop but I worried about my own heart. I said repeatedly (because people kept asking me if I was a christian) , I wanted nothing to do anymore with God, with church or church people, for two years. God answered me as I was watching tv & turning the channel I happened on a T D Jakes broadcast & he turned and faced the camera & said ,"...You dont want to have anything to do with God , you dont want to have anything to do with church & you dont want to have anything to do with church people anymore but God still has His hand on you."

Right now as I have settled down in God's hands, those church people have not changed. As I tried to find another church ,I found that I was seen as someone who caused trouble. They determined to cause me trouble. The head of the security department at BFM was also a senior police officer. There are other senior officers in the church it is where the influential go to here the message on Kingdom Influence & other churches. To harvest their influence the influential are given ministerial titles.

I have no police record but you would never know this by the actions of the force. They have been beating the pavement with warnings about me. I walked up on a senior officer as he was explaining to someone at Scotia Bank downtown that I was a con artist. This is because of the passion of the church people for the reputation of their pastors & for me to shut up & disappear I have lost my reputation through lies & lost jobs. I have found it impossible to find a job that can pay the rent.

The bus drivers carry the lies that started in BFM & other churches that I am a lesbian , a crazy person, a person who likes to quit jobs. The police , bus drivers , store clerks , fast food & foodstore employees are unfriendly & do their share for the cause. As I have been reduced to asking alms they all tell people that I just dont want to work. So far I've survived in a motel room for almost two weeks but the angry mob is growing. The insults are becoming more violent as they are told more information about me. I am just putting on weight & laying down whiles they are working & taking care of me. I must be stopped.

You know if you've ever visited the Bahamas are if you live here this is a place where there are always unemployed people who are not having extraordinary problems & they beg. They might have family who stand by them & give them a place to stay or friends who feed them. I have neither. I pray & walk out the door. I have determined not to compromise for food or a job. I have to turn down men & a few women who always get angry.

There was an incident downtown ,nassau that caused some african american visitors to ask why I was being treated the way I was. As men yelled & screamed that I deserved to be raped. I was sexually assaulted by someone who goes by the nickname 'bigdog' . He used judo so well , I'm sure he was trained by the police . He told what the police were going to say when they arrived, that I was a prostitute. Which they immediately accused me of when they arrived at the house I walked down to. At the time I was homeless & sleeping under a bridge on a boat.

As I entered the downtown area three days later , these men who were all church men & who had all tried to sleep with me , began heckling me. A junior female police yelled that I was again wearing the same shirt that I had on that evening proving that I was a real professional prostitute. She still leads a campaign against me on baystreet.

I find great assurance in the same promises that Paul (phil.1:19 -21) & Jesus (jhn. 14:28) hoped in . Knowing that death is my deliverance & the wicked will not stand in the judgment nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. (pslm.1:5) all quotations from NIV

I do not endorse T D Jakes ,just the fact that God used him in that & a few other incidents.